So, I decided to start a podcast. In January, I began releasing an audio version of my book (Terrible Omens: Happiness is the Other Way) as an episodic podcast experience. It seemed like a good idea. I wasn’t ready to commit to an audiobook, but the idea of presenting my own words in my own voice was definitely intriguing. To be completely forthcoming about it, I had a dream about it. I woke up one morning with an oppressive sense that it was something I needed to do. I know I probably shouldn’t rely on my dreams to guide my decisions, but this one was so intense and so clear that I really didn’t feel like I could ignore it regardless of how ridiculous or risky an undertaking it was.
Now that it’s well underway, the jury’s still out on whether or not it was a good idea. In the end, words like “good” and “bad” will only be applied at the discretion of the intrepid souls who attempt to listen to it, and if it goes anything like the book release, it will be an ego-torturing mix of love, praise, and unbridled searing hatred.
At every stage of this book project, I’ve learned new and unexpected truths about myself. When I wrote the thing, I learned that, no, I really can’t punctuate accurately regardless of the straight A’s I always made in English as a student. Apparently, one really can just learn something for a test. At this stage of the process, I’ve learned that it’s good that I never had any designs on a career in sound engineering or audio editing. I can now say with authority that it isn’t in my wheelhouse. However, I do believe that I might have missed my calling as a phone-sex worker. All of the heavy breathing into the mic that I’ve managed to record over the last few weeks might have actually worked for that kind of job. It’s not been so great for my book project. Maybe I could have done specialty voiceovers for asthmatic cartoon characters or COPD drug commercials. I really don’t know, but I’m sure it would have worked somewhere if I had adequately applied myself.
I’ve been called out for heavy breathing in inappropriate circumstances more often than I care to admit in my life. As a kid, I was asthmatic and allergic to the world. It even seemed like I was “allergic” to exercise when I was diagnosed with exercise-induced asthma, along with the myriad other sensitivities, ailments, and insufficiencies that the doctors listed by my name in my pediatric patient file. After I started reacting to all of the treatments, they decided to just wait for me to “grow out of them.” Most of them did, in fact, recede as I got older, although my improvement was most likely the result of chiropractic care rather than just the aging process. I just learned to live with the rest of them since they weren’t severe enough to need an EpiPen. I learned to live with them so well, in fact, that I nearly forgot about them until the bottom fell out of my immune system in 2012. But I digress…
In the ’70s, my asthma diagnosis dovetailed quite nicely with the release of Star Wars, which inevitably led to my love/hate relationship with Darth Vader. Asthmatic-Vader jokes were low hanging fruit at the time. Unlike Luke Skywalker, however, I quickly embraced the Dark Side and willingly accepted my fate as “Baby Darth.” I decided that joining in on the joke (and fully appreciating my inner Sith) was much more fun than fighting it.
But getting back to the present and the podcast… Baby Darth lives again in the soundwaves of Terrible Omens: The Podcast, regardless of my attempts to change her or dynamically process her away. For those of you who are willing to give the podcast (or the book) a chance—thank you. I really appreciate those of you who are crazy enough to go on this weird journey with me. For those of you that actually make it all the way through it—I am humbled, and I am grateful for your ear and your openness to my odd little project. You will never know exactly how much it means to me.
**If you are interested in checking out Terrible Omens: The Podcast, CLICK HERE to visit the podcast webpage.**
If you want to start a podcast of your own, here’s info about the hosting platform I used:
This project was only possible with the help of a really good hosting platform. After a lot of research, I chose Buzzsprout. They guided me through the process of creating and posting a podcast, and they helped me get it listed quickly on the major platforms like Apple, Google, Spotify, etc. If you are looking to start your own podcast, you should definitely check them out.